Just Like that

As train picked momentum
he came, sat next to me

I felt a connection
Just like that…..

He looked old and frail
with hollow haunted eyes
I wanted to know him
just like that……

He turned towards me slowly
grasping to split agony out

of life’s truths and miseries,
just like that…..

I pretended not to hear him
but was drawn to his woes
with an urge to heed him

just like that…..

He stopped his monologue
with tears dwelling in eyes
but couldn’t get to wipe them
just like that……

Suddenly he rushed up to

step out to the station
leaving me reflective

just like that…..

He moved away from me
but, somehow, left void
and vast vaccum behind
just like that….

It dawned on me as a jolt

that I felt the connection
as I was  as lonely as him
just like that……..

Love Happens – a short story

Love Happens

Now:: 23rd October 2017

I was dazed listening to the animated chat of my 23 year old daughter .We have been more like friends than a mother -daughter duo and Shreya shared even darkest of secrets of her group of friends with me. Though some of them shocked my old world morality and made me scared for the environ my daughter was growing in but I never chided her ever so as evade the confidence we shared. I know my daughter would never do anything that would let me down. But nothing really had shaken me so much before than what I was hearing just now.

Shreya was in love and she was passionately telling me about the man of her dreams. He was 20 years her senior and she had met him at a weeklong virtual art camp six months back. Technology now a day’s allows people to meet and interact virtually just the way they would do in person in older days.

She said “Love happens Mama, it just happens and I am so happy it happened to me at the right age. Are you ok with it mama? You know how much your opinion means to me!!!  “she was looking at me anxiously.

Her statement bought in a sense of Déjà Vu and transported me into another world – a world of my past.

Year 2002

“How do you like your new work place girl?” I asked my friend Simran about her the American Call Centre she had joined about a month back as a customer care executive.

After being a nursery teacher for 10 years, Simran decided to join the call centre like so many other professionals to ride on the wave of internationalism flooding the Indian Corporate World. Her motive behind the move was to bring in some fresh air into her otherwise mundane life. Simran was a nice girl whose only misfortune was to be born in a family of men who were good for nothing and were living off her salary. Sometimes, being the sole bread earner of the family was a bane for the girl. At 31, she was still unmarried with no beau in toe.

“Hmm,it is alright.I am working on my English and diction, the travel is a kill but I guess I can manage that. And this is definitely much better than working under the matron at school. Oh God! She was a royal pain in the back” Simran exclaimed rolling her eyes.

She totally detested the head mistress and fellow teachers of her last school and leaving that job was a big escape for her. It is such a pity that one can escape from a bad office or colleagues by quitting a job and finding a new one but how can one ever do the same with the life and circumstances that one is born with or perhaps there is an escape-who knows ?

“Phew!! Thank God I wouldn’t have to be around that “aao beheno chugli karein” *(come sisters’ let’s gossip) group any more “She heaved a sigh of relief and we both cracked out laughing.

“Made any friends there yet? “ After sobering down, I probed further.

I would like to share with you here that I loved Simran very much and had always felt very protective towards her since our school days. We met first while in standard Eighth and got along very well from the beginning. Having our houses located in close vicinity bought us even closer as friends and confidantes. We behaved more like sisters though this did not take away the integral bond we shared with our respective elder sisters.

“Most of my colleagues are younger to me and I am trying to reach up to their wavelength, the way they dress up, the way they speak –I feel much older around them than I used to while working at schoolThere is this one guy in my team who is showing a lot of interest in me and looks for opportunities to come up and talk about trivial things”. Simran blushed a little and smiled.

“ O Wow, If you like him as well as I would like to judge by looking at the rose petals erupting on your cheeks, then grab him girlie and get married soon “ I was teasing her yet was serious about my proposition. Situation at her house was not unfamiliar for me and I knew her family would never take the effort to get her married. Who would want to strangulate the Golden Goose with their own hands.

“C’mon Swati, spare him .He is much younger to me” Simran replied.

“Oh ho, what does age has to do with love and by the way,you don’t have anyone your age in your team ?“ I was disappointed.

“ Yes I have .My manager, Kabeer.He is my age. We share the same cab too “Simran said.

‘ Aha, what about him “ I was adamant to get her hooked on to a man.

“C’mon, he is married, had a love marriage with a girl of a different religion and has young child too. Moreover I don’t think he likes me either.”she said.

“Why?” I asked.

“You know it is a 2 hours drive each way from my home to the office in the suburbs of Mumbai and this man lives about 8 kms further from my house. Ever since I have joined, the cab has started taking a detour to drop me first since we work till late night or wee hours of morning and the security policy of the call centre wouldn’t allow a woman to be dropped in the end; they drop me first and then drop him which delays him by 1 hour every night. He seems to be very annoyed with my joining in.” she stated sadly.

“Don’t bother about the bugger yaar, you enjoy your new job and company of positive people around you “ I giggled and our talks digressed to the other areas of our lives.

Three Months Later:

We both got busy with our respective lives and careers. I was visiting US for an education exchange program and I could speak to Simran only few days after my return. She had never been good with staying in touch online though I had chided her many a times in past to get E savvy.

“Hullo Simran, how are you doing ? “ I had called her.

“ I am doing fine, how was your trip? “ Simran’s diction and pronunciation both sounded improved. “Good “I thought.

“Trip was good, returned 15 days back. How’s life and Hey, what about the young admirer?”I teased her.

“Oh, you remembered. We are good friends and nothing else.so you don’t cook any khichdi in your over fertile mind !!“She shrugged off even a slightest hint of an affair with an airbrush.

“And how’s “The Bugger doing ?” I asked.

“He is ok now. Guess he has resigned to his fate and doesn’t grumble about being delayed any more “ Simran responded.

We talked a little more about life in general before hanging up. Then we lost touch again.

Six Months Later

While visiting Bandstand in Bandra with my family on a Sunday afternoon, I spotted Simran near the road from a distance. I went closer to discover an unknown pregnant woman accompanying her .

“Hey, long time ….” I said.

“ Hi Swati ,sorry yaar, couldn’t call, got so busy with this evening- night shift routine that all I do now a days is sleep throughout the day. Missed talking to you so much “she said.

“Yup, me too. I was traveling again and came back to the country about a month back “ I answered while looking at the woman with her. I knew most of her colleagues, family members and old friends just as she knew mine. This was a new face.

“Meet Ritu. She is wife of my manager. They wanted to take their son to the seashore and I accompanied them here .The advantages of living close to a beauty spot “she answered smilingly. Sometimes it amazed me how well we could read each others’ mind and thoughts.
“Ok. Hey, I am Swati- Simran’s childhood friend “I shook hands with the short but pretty woman standing next to Simran.

“Hi Swati –yes, Simran had mentioned you to us before. I can see that Kabeer has gone towards the sea shore and Aseem is pestering him to no end. I guess he can use some help ”saying this Ritu went away.

“ How come these two are with you? “ I asked Simran knowing about the past tussle between the two .

“ Oh, that. We have become friends now. C’mon sweetie, we spend 4 hours commuting together, sometimes with two of us alone during the whole stretch. You know how nights are, with dogs barking and fighting at every nook and corner, with bats flying overhead and ruffians trying to peep in to the cab at red lights, it is better to talk to the person with you than to listen to the creepy sound of the night on Mumbai road, so we started talking and found some really interesting common topics to discuss. You know he paints as well and I have shown him my work, he thinks I have good potential to become a Pro. Through him, I have met his wife couple of times socially .They have a 2 year old son and she is 3 months pregnant with the second one. They had a love marriage; her parents never accepted him and have cut off all ties from her “.She was filling me in.

“Ok, Good for you. I will catch you later. My family is waiting for me, must be wondering where I have suddenly disappeared. Take care “I rushed back to the lawns where my 8 year old daughter was playing with her father, Shishir and the grandparents. Shishir and Simran didn’t see eye to eye and I didn’t want a conflict situation in a public place.

“Stay please na, meet Kabeer once, you will surely like him ‘Simran insisted.

“Nope” I said giving a glance across to the lanky figure visible from a distance. “You like him and it’s good enough for me. And who knows, he may give you a good raise since you are buttering up his wife so well. Go attend to them, it’s not civilized to keep one’s guests waiting” I winked at her and waving good bye, rushed back to my family. I was pleased to see my dear friend happy and content with her life.

After few months , the chain of event that followed explained why she was so keen to have me meet Kabeer that day.

After Four Months

“Hullo, Swati – can we talk ?” there was an urgency in her tone.

“ Hey Simran, what happened ? You just disappeared again? Where have you been ?” I asked her. I was home working on thesis for my doctorate and was on a sabbatical from the university where I taught literature.

“ Can’t talk much right now,can you lend me some money please “ she asked.

I have given her money many times in past but this request sounded different. Her voice was choked due to crying and her tone was hushed up and nervous.

“What happened and where are you? I am getting worried!! “I said.

“ I have left home for good and I have nothing with me, can you get me some clothes too please .Meet me outside MacDonald’s around the corner at 6 PM today. Please don’t get anyone along “she pleaded.

“Ok” I hung up and got the bag ready and tucked in few thousands in my jeans pocket.

I drove down and parked outside Mcdonald’s at 6 PM but there was no sign of Simran there. Suddenly she appeared from nowhere and sat in the front seat of my car.“Have you got money and clothes ? “she asked wearily. She looked jaded and tired.Her eyes were swollen due to continuous crying.

“What happened Simran!! Why did you leave home? Did your brother raise his hand on you again ? “I was getting worried by the moment.

“You know they are all crooks – my parents, my brother even my sister. They visited  created a ruckus at our work place, saying that Kabeer and I have an affair. We have been fired and have no job in hand-no money- no place to go to “she spoke in one breath.

“ What are you talking !!! “ I asked.

“Kabeer was supporting me, helping me move away from my family and they blamed us saying we have an affair. His wife is such a b*&^% ,she has made his life a living hell. “she sounded very angry.This wasn’t the Simran I had known all these years.

“Where are you staying now ? “ I was scared as I knew her brother had an explosive temperament and was capable of committing any heinous crime.

“Swati I can’t tell you anything but trust me. I would be Ok. He is here with me but won’t come out in open. Please please don’t tell my family you had met me or have spoken to me, I know they would call you “ saying that she took the bag and disappeared into a dark corner. I spotted the same lanky figure I had spotted at the park many months back.

It was all so confusing. I said a little prayer for her in my heart.

Simran called up couple of times after that but wouldn’t divulge out her whereabouts or share any details.Her family was calling me consistently too but I feigned ignorance to the whole affair.After the last call, Simran became completely incommunicado.

Couple of months after this incident, I received a call from another close school friend of ours, Pragya.

“Any call from Simran ? “ she asked.

‘ No “ I said. I was very hurt by her behavior and the fact that she had decided not to trust her best friend of 15 years but ran away with a man she knew for barely 11 months.

“ She had called me, she is living in Goregaon and has found a job in Andheri “Pragya said.” You know Swati, she said she had fallen in love but she didn’t have the courage to tell you the truth. She so desperately wanted you to approve of her relationship but she knew you wouldn’t approve of it because of your moralistic views. You would think of his wife and children and the hurt caused to them.She had no courage to come and tell you that she had fallen for a married man. “

“But you know what she said to me – She said “Love Happens” Pragya and when it does, no one has control over the consequences arising out of it. Love just finds its way. And you can’t force it on anyone if you ever wish to. It would happen if it had to happen.

And you know what Swati, I know what she meant. “Sighed Pragya who was recuperating from a divorce arising out of a short lived loveless marriage.

I didn’t know where I would ever approve or accept this liaison.

Back to Present:

It has been 15 years since I saw or spoke to Simran last and I heard from friends later that she had reconciled  with her family after few years. Simran and Kabeer live together in Goregaon now, happily or unhappily, I cannot say. I don’t know what happened to his wife and children but Simran and Kabeer never had children of their own. She may have escaped her miseries but shadows of guilt may chase her all her life.

“Mama, where are you lost ? Are you upset with me?” Shreya was shaking me and it bought me back to the present.

Having raised Shreya single handedly after Shishir and I divorced following Shishir’s short lived affair with his secretary when Shreya was 10 years old, all that mattered to me was my daughter’s happiness and everything else was inconsequential. I could never forgive Shishir for his mistake though knowing that it was a momentary slip and he regretted it highly, I decided to part ways. What followed was a lonely and loveless life. The only bright spot was Shreya but I felt guilty towards her many a times to have deprived her of love and care of her father.

I hugged Shreya and nodded in approval “Of course, I am very happy for you darling.When do I meet the lucky man ….”

”O,I love you mama…you meet him very soon.I am sure you would like him. He is so intelligent, well learnt, well travelled ….. ‘she was ecstatic and continued talking about her beloved.

That day in year 2003, I didn’t know where I would have approved of this liaison or not but today, I know both Shreya and Simran would have had my blessings. I am not too sure if I would be able to connect with Simran ever again even we chance upon meeting her anywhere as a chord was broken which seems difficult to repair. I continue to silently pray for her well being and happiness.

It dawned upon me that the only thing that mattered to me was happiness of my loved ones  - the ever elusive happiness that I had chased and lost out on all my life. I wish I had given a little room to imperfection in my life. After all, life is not only black or white – it has many shades of grey too – something that one can learn to live with and be friends with. We shouldn’t let societal values rule our lives but  develop our own set of moralities; the morals which do not encroach upon our lives and suffocate us yet enable us to face our conscious and face the reflection in the mirror and look into the eye.

Happy Diwali – A short story

Madhavi Sharma was very sad today.The fact that it was the biggest festival of Hindus and happiness was in the air with almost everyone on the campus busy shopping for the evening or decorating their houses made no impact on her loneliness and depression. “This would be my first diwali without Teesha in last 40 years” she sighed and fondly remembered her husband of 40 years ,Professor Satish Sharma who had died on Colon Cancer four months back. Her world had shattered and she had been trying to put her life together when the e mail reminder of her upcoming birthday on 30^th October popped up on the school intranet last week bringing in another jolt in to her life .  She would be turning 60 this month, the date when she retires from the  place which was like a home to her since last 30 years.

Madhavi taught mathematics to the senior students at the residential convent school, St. Peters Convent at Kasauli and her husband was a professor of economics at a local Government college there. They lived on the campus of the convent and were a popular couple amongst staff and children alike. Madhavi could never bear children but being amongst children all the time and having Satish’s unwavering support never made her feel barren ever, a feeling which did not surface until last week when she saw the e mail and realized that she would have to leave the campus and look for a fresh life outside. An absolute unknown world awaits her outside with no friends, family or acquaintances whatsoever.

Satish and Madhavi  married at an early age. They had met at the orphanage where she was raised .Satish would visit the place to teach economics to children during his spare time. Their liking for each other was mutual and instant, the decision to get married was well thought of. Satish’s family never accepted Madhavi and they moved to Kasauli from Dehradun where Satish  got an offer to join as an intern .Despite the initial struggle and financial crunch, their life was blissful. Madhavi continued with her education and got a job at the convent after few years .They both moved into the house in the campus and were leading a happy life  till the day they discovered Satish’s cancer at the last stage which consumed him within three months of the disease being detected, and his demise left a huge dent with vast void in Madhavi’s life.

After the mourning period,Madhavi resumed work.She was trying to find peace in the faces of inquisitive young faces. She was also taking  tuitions of some students in the evening which kept her evenings busy. Weekends were spent at the local orphanage playing with the children there.

Last week:

Back at school,the sadness in her eyes had not escaped the gaze of her students who were trying to figure out what was wrong with otherwise cheerful Ms. Madhavi.They knew she was sad since her husband’s demise but had been poised and her cheerful self again lately. No one knew the resaon till class prefect shared the e mail information with them.

Today : Madhavi had cried herself to sleep thinking about what a bleak future lies ahead of her. She didn’t know where would life lead her and how she would fight the demon called loneliness. In a country where the old people are sadly abandoned and neglected by their own children, her only solace was the fact that she had no children who would put her through this misery; it was life and her circumstances which were responsible. She wasn’t worried about the money, they had led a balanced life and had saved for the old age, it was the fear of being alone which was scaring her .

By the time she woke up in the evening, it was already 7 and the sky looked dark from her bedroom window with some lights flickering in the sky ,distantly at the cottages of other teachers. She had not switched on any lights and house was pitch dark. She would see crackers bursting and hear children shrieking with joy from her window. Her lips wore the first weak smile of the day. “People in Ayodhya must be waiting with bated breath to see Ramji and Sitaji return from the exile” thought she.

She slowly dragged herself out of the bed and walked towards her front lawn and what she saw outside was the most amazing view of her life. She need not switch on any lights as the front of the house was lit up with hundreds of candles burning bright in her verandah and driveway. Few drops of tears rolled out of her eyes and she sat quietly on the front stairs marveling at the sight she was experiencing and the love that was flowing out of those tiny diamonds shining in her driveway.

Then she saw Father Gomes, Dean and principal of the school walking towards where she was seated.

“Good Evening Father, wish you a Happy Diwali” she whispered from her tear choked voice.

“Happy Diwali Ms. Sharma” Father Anthony Gomes joined Madhavi on the stairs and looked at her.” You have been crying Ms. Sharma?”

“Father, this…who….?”she was trying to figure out face/faces behind the candles.

“Ms. Sharma, I am here with a request to you “Father said.

Madhavi knew what was coming. In past, many teachers were reluctant to vacate the spacious villas after retirement.” Don’t worry Father, I would vacate the villa by 7^th November, I am trying to make my arrangements”.

“No Madhavi,listen to me” Father Gomes kept an affectionate hand of Madhavi’s back. She was always like a daughter to 75 years old Dean.

‘I have come here with a request to you from the Board of the School. Mrs. Pereira has retired and would like to move out and we were wondering if you would like to be the new Warden of the girl’s hostel. You know that school rules are not applicable with hostel management and Board prefer mature ladies to mentor young girls. And yes,perhaps some tuitions in the evening for those who can benefit from your wisdom” he stated.

Madhavi couldn’t believe her ears. The tears were rolling down her cheeks with a force that can turn tornados around.” I don’t know what to say father!!!”

“Come with me Madhavi “said Father Gomes.

Madhavi looked at him questioningly.

“Come my child “he said. Madhavi accompanied him to the main mess of the hostel. She could hear a lot of commotion outside but as they entered the hall, there was pin drop silence. The hall was filled with almost a thousand students and Madhavi was astonished to see so many old and new faces in front of her eyes.

“Madhavi” Father Gomes took her to the dais and addressed her. “This is the force which made the Board take that decision .Last week, the XIth and XII th class students got together and sent e mails and messages to all the alumni of the school to all those whose lives have been touched by your gentle heart to come out and help them to have you stay back . These are some of the people who responded and contacted the Board; the rest came through telephone calls, e mail messages, and online polls. To show their solidarity, they came here today and quietly lit the candles in your driveway to show how much they love you. Now, at this moment, they all are waited with bated breath to hear your decision on our request. Madhavi, what do you say?’

Madhavi was speechless. All the unconditional love and affection she had given to her students in last 30 years had come back to her in multifold in this very moment. “Can I say anything else, of course yes, it would be my pleasure to stay back here“.

“Yeah “the mess was echoing with laughter and cheers of young and middle aged alike.

“Happy Diwali Miss “a young student came up to the dais with a sweet box and put a barfi in her mouth.

“Happy Diwali to you too my child “Madhavi kissed his forehead and placed a barfi back into his mouth.

It indeed was diwali in true sense for her today.

Speed – A Short Story

“Happy Birthday “Sridhar Saran was trying to wake up his only daughter Anwesha from a deep slumber.

“Its Sunday dadzsee let me sleep please “Anwesha mumbled lazily.

“See, what dada has got you for your birthday baby” Sridhar tempted her.

“OK, show me now’ Anwesha got up and sat cross legged on her bed.

Sridhar was a leading industrialist and a power broker known for his prowess in converting foes into friends during elections and was most sought after by leading political parties in the times of crisis. So, money was a non issue with Anwesha’s family.There was nothing that money could buy that Anwesha would yearn for. Sometimes, it is fun to be less privileged in life and get something your heart had desired and yearned for as  the joy felt at that very moment of achievement can never be bought or  bartered for . Anwesha never had the pleasure of experiencing this privilege.

“What na dada, show it to me now” Anwesha wasn’t a very patient girl.

Sridhar doted on his daughter and always dreamt that she would succeed him in his business. Anwesha had other plans, no; actually she had no plans for she had never taken life seriously.

Sridhar produced a fancy red felt box from behind his back and kept in Anwesha’s lap.

Reluctantly thinking “Ah, another diamond necklace” she opened the box and in there was truly something that her heart had desired but wasn’t very sure she could get it so soon.

“O, wow, super dada, you are the best “Anwesha was jumping on her bed, clutching the shining key of Hummer in her fist. Her dad had managed to get the car through the customs so soon. Many celebrities had recently faced trouble for buying a hummer and dada had promised her one for her birthday. He is much more powerful than them all , she thought.

“That I truly am.”Sridhar was beaming with pride. “The fully loaded car would be at our farmhouse by the evening, then you can take your friends for a long drive after the party ‘.

Suddenly she became somber”what party dada, after bhaiya…I can’t have any party today “She remembered her brother, Siddhant; it was the day after her birthday last year when her brother had died.

“Life has to move on love, it has to move. You get ready “Sridhar walked out of her room. He had called some very prominent people of the city to the party and he was hoping to crack a major deal this evening.

He met his wife, Shobhana in the lobby.” Everything’s ready for this evening I presume, have the caterers set up the farmhouse for the party ?I want the best food and wine to be served tonight.” he asked her curtly.

“Yes, but Sridhar, it’s only been a year since Siddhant passed away, don’t you think we shouldn’t be throwing such parties. My poor child, the wounds are so fresh in our hearts….…”she was sobbing.

“Shut up, your son was stupid ,good for nothing, he was trying to blow my money away on the basti wallahs, and then dying of stupidity…,he would have killed my career with that ….go….let go now “ Sridhar huffed and moved  towards his bedroom.

Shobhana was left sobbing in the gallery. She could never believe that her idealistic son could die due to a drug overdose. He had never done drugs, forget drugs, he didn’t even smoke or drink like other youngsters his age. His only fault was he was not manipulative as his father; he was an idealist who wanted to bring in reforms and equality in the society. Sridhar had always blamed Shobhana for letting Siddhant get influenced by her brother who was a communist.

Same day, last year:

Anwesha was having good fun with her friends at their farmhouse in Pushpanjali farms which was about 25 kms from their Civil Lines home in New Delhi. Her father had given her a free run on drinks and food. He knew that his daughter loved speed and was fun loving, what he didn’t know was that Anwesha was a closet drug addict. No one knew that except for her close circle of friends and Ronny.

Siddhant had a major fight with his father that day when he walked into Anwesha’s party .He was in a very depressed state. Anwesha tried to cheer her elder brother up. Ronny had made a special dose for her which she cajoled Siddhant into sniffing in.” Its special bhaiya,it would make you feel lighter and you would go on a high….have it, for just one time “, she probed him. She loved the tranquility a  drug dose bought along  and wanted to help her brother relax . Siddhant was shocked to know of Anwesha’s drug habit and decided to address it later  but right now,he needed peace of mind and desperation led him to take his first and the  last puff.

Siddhant felt relaxed, very relaxed ….his head was light but things around him were moving and he started hallucinating. He was multiple geometrical shapes dancing and swiveling around him and suddenly it was pitch dark .He fell with his head hitting the ground .He went  into an instant comma. Anwesha had not asked for that for her brother. By next evening, he was dead. Lying like a piece of cold meat in the morgue of the hospital.

“Ronny had said it was the mildest, just the way she always liked”. She had thought. Being Sridhar’s daughter, she couldn’t have let the world know that she was on drugs, that would have spelt doom for her father’s career…but it marred her brother instead and killed him. Her heart was heavy with a guilt ,a guilt that she would have to learn to live with for rest of her life.

Sridhar hushed up Siddhant’s case  as an accidental death due to head injury and  got Ronny arrested on some other charges .He chose to ignore the fact that the drug peddler was at Anwesha’s party where Siddhant was a guest.

Ronny was languishing in Tihar jail since last one year waiting for his trial to begun.

Back to today:

The party was boring and Anwesha could not enjoy it for even a minute. Her thoughts were with her brother.

Hearing the honk outside, she rushed out to see her bright red Hummer parked in the driveway.

“I am going for a drive dada “she told Sridhar while moving out to the porch.

“Have fun, take your friends….”Sridhar said while putting his thoughts back to the point Mishra ji  was making.

Anwesha was in no mood for company tonight, she needed to be alone to clear her head and only speed can bring that clarity.

She was driving at a very high speed. She needed to go on a high. Since she had quit drugs after Siddhant’s death, the only other activity that gave her a high was fast driving. She was driving at 150 miles per hour speed now and the meter was rising. She didn’t notice but her mobile was ringing constantly. “Hullo, who;’s this?”She didn’t wish to talk. It was her best friend Manya. “Annie, listen carefully, Ronny is out of parole and he is out to get you. You know he had tried to kill you last year by the drug overdose but Siddhant bhaiya took that puff. You recall how you had insulted him at Preshy’s party, he was trying to take revenge on you “. Sammy just called me to warn you, watch out, Ronny would try to hurt you .Anie, you are with me??? “. Anwesha disconnected the phone.

WHAT…..the overdose …was for me and it killed my brother. She was racing high on the outer ring road. It was cold and late in the night. The speed was going dangerously up. I should have died, not bhaiya.I should be dead, now……she was increasing the speed….…then suddenly she recalled Siddhant’s last words to her before taking in the puff “Annie,        I wish you could fulfill dad’s dream and join his business, I have broken his heart with my disinterest but you are smart, you can be in the business yet help me in people’s uplifting …..do this for me my doll “he had pleaded. Thinking about her brother, she jammed on the brakes “I have to live…..…I need to be responsible now and fulfil bhaiya’s dream “. As she halted, she felt something had hit her car from behind with the sudden force and then there was a shriek like a fox crying. She had not realized she had entered the ridge area infested by wild animals who came out on the road on pitch dark nights. It was a moonless night and she couldn’t sense anything behind her .O God,if it was in front,my car would  have toppled all over ,I am saved, thinking this she rushed  towards her home immediately to avoid any further  encounter with a wild animal.

Sleeping peacefully that night, she dreamt of the path she had chosen for herself but there was one revenge she still had to take – to avenge her brother’s death.

Next Morning :

“Good Morning Annie “Shobhana kissed her daughter’s forehead as she came to greet her parents in the lawn where they were sipping their morning tea.” You left early beta, we thought you would come back to the party.’

“Good morning Mom, dada …Oh, I came home and slept early, the drive through the ridge was cool”. She gave a weak smile.”Dada, can I start coming to work with you from today.”

Shobhana and Sridhar looked at her face unbelievingly. Suddenly she was looking so composed and grown up,a stark contrast from her hyper self.

“I would like to and that’s what Siddhant bhaiya would have liked as well “Anwesha said softly.

As she joined her parents sipping tea, she picked up the morning paper and what she read on the front page was shocking. The news heading shouted:

“Motorcyclist killed by a Wolf in the Ridge Area last night “.

Last night, a wild Wolf in the ridge area attacked a passing motorcycle and killed the driver .It seems the Wolf was hit by an unidentified speeding car when the beast tried to drag the dead body into the jungle. The deceased is been identified as Ronny Lobosca, a drug peddler who was released out on parole yesterday only. It looks like he was headed towards Civil Lines when this accident happened. Ronny had  been catering to high profile… ………the probe is on by the wild life department to determine if the death of the wolf was  a case of rash driving or accidental hit…………..

Sridhar had read the news too and saw the blood being drained out from Anwesha’s face. “Siddhant would have been proud of your decision love “he whispered in her ear. He was a sharp man.” Don’t worry about the dent at the back of  the hummer, I would take care of that “.

Anwesha had a silent smile on her lips. The nature had bought justice with the high speed she had always loved and her father had just delivered justice to her late brother’s memories.

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Perception Vs. Reality -Concluding Part

This is the other side of the story of my previous post Perception Vs. Reality  :

Kumud  was a woman of grit and determination.Born to Barrister parents, she had been privy to all kind of luxuries and comfort in life.Being the only child, she was pampered  by her parents to have the best .Her life would have been perfect if she had not committed gravest of mistakes of her life. She fell in love with a scoundrel named Kailash in college who ran away after impregnating her. It surprised many that Kailash wouldn’t marry Kumud as Kumud was the lone heiress of a big fortune but for Kailash,it was revenge from Shah’s for a mis fired family feud which bought his family on the road. He wasn’t very lucky and people said he was killed in a gang war few years after Kumud moved out of Ahmedabad .
By the time Kumud realized she was pregnant, it was already late to abort the child ,though her parents insisted on giving up the child immediately after birth ,Kumud refused to do so. Not been able to withstand her parent’s hatred for the unborn and sense of shame, Kumud disappeared in oblivion with a determination to bring up her child in the best possible ways.

Move from Ahmedabad to another metro city like Mumbai was not possible as her parents were famous people and scandals from famous families have a longer shelf life than mishappenings in common people’s lives.. She moved to Nashik and from there to a smaller town  as recommended by her best friend Jaya who supported her move initially but moved away from her life once Kumud could sustain herself .

Four months after moving to the town,Kumud gave birth to a pretty daughter .She took tuition’s to run the house but never allowed her tight purse strings become a hindrance to any desire shown by her daughter. The little angel had turned 4 today and she decided to go to local Scottish High to get her admission done. “My daughter should get the same education as I have had :” thought she but her single status and low financial status became a bane to her daughter’s admission. Dejected ,she was sitting outside the Principal’s office holding angel ’s hand when a lady touched her head.”what happened my dear,can I help you in any way?’looking at the fashionable lady with dangling diamonds, she thought of her to be a rich woman taking a digg at her misery. “Nothing “Kumud said. “Please I insist ,may be I can help !” the lady responded.

Something told Kumud that she could trust this lady.She was kind. This social butterfly “knew” the chairman of the school well, not only did her little girl got admission but also scholarship to study throughout the schooling years.She also helped Kumud get a job there as a full time teacher.

Few days went by ,Kumud and the lady became friends. She wasn’t bothered about what people said about her and the chairman. For Kumud ,she was her innocent savior.

She had asked the lady this five years after their first meeting – she could never muster enough courage to ask this before  “What made you reach out and help me that day” and that was one time she saw tears in her otherwise lively eyes “May be because I have a young daughter that I could never do justice to. Looking at your daughter the other day, a voice from within my heart said that she should be cherished and not trampled upon,and she may feel the same about you the way my daughter does if she is deprived of anything.In your case it would have been lack of good education and upbringing,in my case,lack of recognition and respect in society.You know Kumud, I sometimes feel as if I am my daughter’s culprit and this thought eats my heart day in and night out . I love her very very much. I have loved my daughter like no one else in this world Kumud and I don’t know if she would understand this ever, but whatever I did in life or whatever I would do would be in her best interest “. “

This was the last conversation they had. Next morning the lady was found dead in her bathroom, some people said she committed suicide, some said she died of drug overdose, reasons of her death were never established.Soon, her daughter sold everything and went away somewhere. No one ever heard of her again.

Kumud’s daughter, Kruttika was as intelligent as her mother. She topped throughout the school and at the medical college. Finishing her MD,she became one of the youngest cardiologists in Mumbai.

Working at City Hospital, she got hospital’s accommodation at a plush South Bombay condominium. She had requested for anonymity at the condo as she didn’t want her past to catch up on her. Its not that she was afraid of her past, its just that she wanted her mother to breathe freely and live a comfortable life.

Kumud was very sceptical of the move due to her past but she promised Kruttika to join her in six months time after her moving into the condo as she wanted to wrap up all the formalities in Matheran and move for good.It needed a lot of courage to retur amongst known places and familiar faces.

Kumud had arrived at the hospital from the airport but was waiting as Kruttika had to attend to the emergency case of a lady who had a heart attack upon landing from US.

“Ok, mum, let’s go home now” it was close to midnight when Kruttika started for her 15 minute drive from hospital to home. She could have sent mum home earlier but wanted to welcome her into the house on her own.On the way,Kruttika told mum about the condo and also about the lady with bad mannerism and cold stare.

As she drove into the gate,she was stopped by Mr. Wadla.Ms. Braganza had a heart attack. She rushed to Ms. Braganza’s apartment and Kumud came along to. While Kruttika was giving emergency recovery strokes to revive Ms. Braganza, Kumud was shocked and was marveling at what cross roads life had got her to. In front of her was daughter of the lady who gave a new lease to her life.

The resemblance between the mother and daughter wsa so stark that any one who had known both or either wouldn’t have missed it.

She told Kruttika the complete story at the hospital and the rest was filled in by          Mrs. Almeida whom she had gone to visit with Kruttuika in the morning.

When Kruttika hugged Ms. Braganza in the hospital room, she knew the air was cleared between them  and  the bond they had renewed was much stronger and long lasting than any bond they have known before.

Kumud stepped in and greeted Ms. Braganza, hugged her and whispered in her ear” I would you what someone told me twenty years back in Matheran….”I have loved my daughter like no one else in this world Kumud and I don’t know if she would understand this ever, but whatever I did in life or whatever I would do would be in her best interest “.
There were many people in the room but only three pairs of eyes knew what they had rediscovered today. The reality of their existence, the reality of someone’s sacrifice, the reality of someone’s determination and the reality’ of someone’s new journey to rediscover life.

Perception Vs. Reality

“Honk honk” the car was entering the condominium.

Ms. Braganza looked at her watch.It was 1 in the morning “Here comes Madam” she muttered to herself while looking out of the window of her 25th story plush South Bombay apartment and watched the Toyota Corolla glide into its slot across the building . Her apartment was so strategically located that the bedroom window overlooked the main entrance,her living room faced the swimming pool and her kitchen window faced the club house.

She considered herself to be somewhat a sleuth .Since she lived alone and had no compulsion to work, she would glue herself to one of her windows to watch who is coming in and going out, or who is accompanying who to the pool or to the clubhouse, who’s with who in the back garden during mornings and evenings.Sometimes, she would complain to the RWA with different stories but no one ever paid attention as everyone was aware of her quirk and interfering nature.”Why should we interfere into some one’s personal life Ms. Braganza,you leave it na” would say the secretary Mr. Wadla after listening to the juicy gossip.He was a nice man and sympathised with Ms. Braganza ‘s loneliness but he had many more egos to handle besides hers and he did a fair job in doing that. As the RWA secretary and security incharge of the condo ,he was privy to evidences of happenings around the condominium which have the  making of a racy and juicy bestseller but he kept  his eyes and mouth sealed in general interest .Everyone respected him in the condominium.

Ms. Braganza never married .She couldn’t -her mother’s reputation of being an open social butterfly tagged along whenever she found a suitor for herself. After the accidental death of her mother about 20 years back, the reason for which could never been found out , she changed her name and moved into this plush 4 bedroom apartment in South Mumbai after selling her sprawling bungalow in Matheran .She was already 35 years old by then.The only reminiscence of her past the uncanny resemblance to her mother,which she had no control on.

She liked to stay aloof and would keep to herself most of the time except for cursory exchanges with the neighbours while on her morning walk or evening strolls.She had a quirk nature and people tried to stay away from her.There was no way she can let them know of her past .The only person she really respected and trusted  in the condo was Mrs. Almeida who was currently away to USA visiting her son for six months.And how she miss not having her around ,these two old lonely ladies were very friendly and spend most of their time in each others’ company.

“Let Mrs. Almeida come back and then we would approach the RWA to have this girl vacate her apartment.I have been seeing her come back at odd hours every night for past five months but no one says anything .Some days she comes with more boys and girls her age. They all look from good family…huh,but my mother looked from a good family too,don’t I know what a s**t she was .And my mother was discovered, ostracized by the society..what was my fault ,why did I had to suffer..all those names,taunts,they still ring in my ears….huh…..

I have sacrificed enough to have a respectable life in a reputed society, I can not let a neighbor like this spoil my game plan of years, I am very respectful-that’s how i have lived, that’s how I would die. I wouldn’t let shadows of my past resurface in my life in any way.

She had made a perception about this young girl coming back late at night as someone with loose character and doubtful reputation  and she was hell bent upon proving it as a reality, take her revenge ,do the same to someone that was done to her many years back. She mentioned about this already to some of the neighbors but it all fell to false ears.

She crossed path with the girl many times on walking track or in the club but chose to ignore her greetings and smiles with a cold stare.

ONE MONTH AFTER:

Ms. Braganza was very excited today, Mrs. Almeida is coming back tonight. She waited for her to come back till late evening but thought her plane has been delayed. The phone’s ringing at midnight woke her up.”Hullo, who is this?” she asked.”Ma’am,I am calling from continental airline,a relative of yours ,Mrs. Almeida was traveling with us from US. She suffered a heart attack upon landing; we have rushed her to the city hospital. We had your number as one of her local contact, so we called you.We request you to please reach the hospital immediately” said the voice on the phone.

Ms. Braganza felt as if everything around her was spinning and she had a sudden pain in her right arm riding up, realizing that something may be happening to her, she dialled Mr. Wadla’s number who was on speed dial of her phone.” Wadla, Braganza, please come here. emergency….rush ” saying this she dragged herself to the door and could barely managed to open the lock before everything became dark in front of her eyes.

It felt like a lifetime had passed.Ms. Braganza opened her eyes and found herself on a hospital’s bed.” where am I?” she whispered. she was feeling very weak.

“Don’t worry Ma’am,you are at the city hospital” said Mr. Wadla who was sitting next to her, waiting for her to regain consciousness.

“Oh,where is Mrs. Almeida,the phone said she was bought here”

“Yes, I got the call from the airlines too.She is fine and out of danger ,is been shifted to the adjacent room,you can see her once you feel a little better “.

“What happened to me ,who bought me here ?”she asked.Before Mr. Wadla could answer her question,.the doctor came in.

“How are you feeling now Ms. Braganza ?” asked the doctor.

Ms. Braganza was shocked.The question was asked by the same girl she has been following every night through her window and badmouthing since last six months.

Ms. Braganza ,you had a heart attack….this is Dr. Kruttika Shah,she lives in our condo only.When I was rushing to your apartment,she was coming back from the hospital.Their hospital has a guest house in our condo where some of the doctors besides Dr. Shah stay after late night shifts.Dr. Shah is a senior cardiologist and she was the one who saved your life and Mrs. Almedia’s too when she was rushed to her hospital from the airport.

“Please forgive me Lord, please forgive me” Ms. Braganza started crying. She was repenting the fact that she wanted to take her old revenge from someone who turned to be her innocent savior.

Dr. Shah hugged her tightly trying to pacify her. The air had cleared now and in her heart,Ms. Braganza decided not to let a perception ever become a reality unless it is supported by hard core proven facts.

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This story continues……

The Arrangement – A Short Story

 

 

Kavya was struggling to breathe in some fresh air in the atmosphere coagulated with cigarette smoke and free flowing alcohol .She had accompanied her husband to a lavish private party at  a farmhouse in Chattarpur, a little cozy place tucked away from the main city under the Bhati Mines  in the vicinity of Aravali Hills .Her head was spinning due to blaring music and blinding neon lights flashing all over the place. Her husband was busy drinking and gyrating to Bhangra music in the pitch dark hub with  dancing flash nights oblivious to the uncomfortable state his wife was in. Barring the ambience and noise, the surroundings in the farmhouse looked tranquil and inviting. She could see a row of nice small huts lined up at the extreme end of the farmhouse which may have worked out as a nice weekend getaway hideout in an otherwise normal situation but not today. She is dreading what was to follow the party, a liitle something that Mohit had whispered into her ear few moments back.

Kavya was a simple woman by heart .Her father may have been the richest industrialist of Bhiwadi but he never allowed money to blight or scar his children’s upbringing. That’s how Kavya and her twin Kaveesh were so grounded and family oriented people. Extremely fond of each other, sibling rivalry was something none of them had experienced in 20 years of their existence on earth .They enjoyed each other’s company and often burst out laughing over some silly joke cracked by Kaveesh who  had an amazing sense of humor.He could tell the funniest of joke with a straight face.And they absolutely adored each other.

Kavya moved to Gurgaon marrying Mohit  Singhal,a family friend and a leading real estate developer  in the city. Initially, the transition was difficult as she was a small town girl with core values  but she adapted quickly to the big city’s ways of living .Afterall, she was an Indian woman, what other choice does this society give to its women but to melt down and restructure their lives after marriage  just the way an old coin is melted down to make a new one. The new coins have tremendous sheen but the substance and weight is reduced in the process of restructuring. So, our Kavya had modulated  herself as per her husband’s wishes and command but she managed to retain her substance and dignity, a quality that  sets her apart from wives of Mohit’s friends. Oh, by the way, did I say she had adapted, well, yes, she imbibed most of the vices which are integral part of lives of rich and famous except for an affinity to Mohit’s lust for alcohol, smoke and night life.

If Mohit wanted to go alone partying every night, she wouldn’t have had any problems but he was insistent that she accompanied him ever so often. Mohit liked to flaunt his pretty and dignified wife to his friends. She was tired of being a trophy wife but had absolute no option than to relent  to his demands.She had stopped accompanying him intermediately while she was expecting her twin sons but was had to restart the routine once the boys were old enough to be left in care of the nanny for a night out.

Her only solace was the luxury of getting to spend Saturday evenings in company of her family which had moved to Gurgaon about three years back .Things were smooth and they all were happy until the day Kaveesh fell in love with the PR head of alocal  5 star hotel, Eisha Shastry ,whom he had met at a friend’s party .Eisha loved Kaveesh’s elegant demeanor and sense of humor and he loved her outgoing nature.They say opposites attract but Kavya could never fathom why would Kaveesh marry a girl like Eisha. They were as different as chalk and cheese. Initially both their parents had protested the proposal since they were of different caste but gave in since Eisha was a very strong headed girl and Kaveesh was adamant too. She continued with her work and late night travels even after marriage which made Kavya’s small town parents very uncomfortable but they kept maintained composure  with dignity. Eisha loved fast life, clubbing, going out and drinking while Kaveesh was still shy and reticent – nevertheless,he loved her tremendously and would do anything to please her. Love is called blind for no other stupid reason but a very foolish reason which has no base or form.

Mohit and Eisha ’s strong  mutual disliking for each other was apparent from the very beginning , Mohit thought her to be crass , arrogant and too fast a girl wherein Eisha defined Mohit to her friends as a lowly creature of creepiest kind with money but no class. Though Kavya would try to maintain harmony between two of them but these two would pick on each other for trivial reasons resulting in a huge fight atleast once a month .Kavya wanted to go out for a movie with Kaveesh and Eisha but Eisha had work commitments ,so Mohit dragged her to the farmhouse party .

Mohit had been nudging Kavya to accompany him to rave parties for past few days where he wanted to “experiment” with life as they had been married for 10 years now as he felt monotony had started settling in their married life and they needed to do something different to spice it up. Kavya ,a traditional girl,strongly refused to be part of any such thing but today,Mohit tricked her into coming for this party.He informed her that key exchanging would start in the main hall soon and in case she loved her ,she would join him for the experiment just for once tonight. He promised that both would be chaste for each other the morning after and this night would be buried forever in the history of their married life .She was tricked and trapped and didn’t know how to escape from the arrangement. Her throat had as it is choked due to smoke and her voice was barely audible, she couldn’t even make her protest audible to Mohit.

In another half an hour’s time, the game began. All men were allocated rooms and they were to wait for the ladies holding their car keys in their respective rooms. Car keys were attached to the room tag keys and were thrown in a bin for women to collect and join the “partners” in their huts. Kavya was shocked to look at the kind of women who had gathered there-they were around her age, were presentable and looked happily married women coming from good families. How disgusting could their husbands be to force their wives to accompany them here – and then she took a deep sigh, ah, mine is no different either.

The hall was still dark with one ceiling light flickering on the ceiling, the intention was to preserve privacy and conceal identity of their elegant clientele for very obvious reason –no one would like to be caught here in any circumstances, one organizer whispered into the ear of a newly joined executive.Their business was boming.

All women had taken keys from the basket and rushed to the villas assigned except for Kavya.The organiser lady prodded her to hurry and reach her assigned villa, the lights would be on soon. The plan was to have the couples talk to each other in dark for five minutes and then get the organizers would switch on the lights to reveal who they had been lucky to be assigned with. The old ones at game knew how to manipulate keys to get desired partners and the novice were happy to experiment and explore. Kavya picked up the last key in the basket and moved slowly while watching the lady before her rushing to her assigned villa. She was determined and knew what she would do. On her way to the villa, she picked up a big stone, just in case …..

Slowly, she entered the dark room. She could see the amber alighted from the tip of a cigarette and smoke bellowing through the distant light filtering in from the light poles around the farmhouse. The view outside looked pleasant but inside was dark.

“Please be comfortable” said the male voice slowly while coughing on the cigarette smoke. Kavya didn’t response.

“Would you like to sit?”He asked again. She was still mum.

“Listen” she said firmly after a pause of a minute “Well, I wanted to say….you see…”she went mum…”yes yes, please go ahead “prompted the other voice.

“You see,my husband got me here but I am not interested…I just can’t …I won’t be able to…do you understand what I am saying….I love my husband very much and he said he wants to be here only for once…but you know…I totally can’t “She could convey this much in her hoarse choked voice.

“”Woah, such a RELIEF.” He spoke in very slow voice as if trying to hide somewhere “Thank you, thank you so much lady. I was dreading what was coming by. You see my wife cajoled me to come here for once in a lifetime experience ,she wanted to try it once ,her friends have been bragging about it and she felt left out …but I love her very much and I couldn’t have…another woman,not for me  ..And I thought I would say no to whoever would come in, you made my life 50% easier sister, thank you …”

“What about your wife?” she asked.

‘Oh, I would forgive her for this just one time arrangement.”he whispered. His slow voice was drowned by high decibel fighting noise coming from the adjacent villa and both of them realized that there were lights in all the villas except for theirs.

Let me get the lights “I forgot, I had switched off the switches accidentally while trying to switch the light on as we had come in very late and they sent me here directly from the entrance .

He got up to switch on the lights from the panel. The noise was growing outside “what is this noise all about?”Both of them were thinking.

As the man turned around once the light came on, he was shocked to see the face behind him.

“Bhaiya, YOU!!!”Kavya was shocked.

“Kavya, Kavya, what are you doing here? I am going to kill that b******d of your husband, where is he “and before Kaveesh could react further and  spoil Mohit’s party, the shouting marathon from the next door villa reached the highest volume  and the door was slammed open. ”You Uncouth Moron “the woman was saying,”Shutup you rotten b***h “the man responded- the voices were quite audible and very recognizable now.

Recognizing the angry voices coming by, Kaveesh stated with a straight face. “Looks like their arrangement has been revoked”.

Despite of being marred by double misery, the brother sister duo couldn’t contain themselves and burst out laughing realizing the comedy of error and were rolling all on the floor clutching their stomachs.

 **************************

“Kavya “Kaveesh said regaining his composure.”Bacche, how about keeping our discovery of today a secret only!!!”

“Excellent idea Bhaiya “Kavya said with a naughty twinkle in her eyes.

************************************

They met their respective spouses in the car after one hour as planned.Mohit’s face was swollen.

“Who were you with Kavya, what happened?”He asked sullenly.”Sour Grapes”Kavya smiled but said nothing.

“Kavya!!!I asked something”He said.

“Let’s go home Mohit.We decided to bury this night and be chaste for each other tomorrow morning, right?”Kavya said sternly, hiding her smile.

“Hmm…”Mohit was kicking himself.He had learnt a lesson .

Kaveesh was smiling in his own car looking at flushing Eisha’s face but did not comment.They had a quiet drive.

**********************************************************************

Both Kaveesh and Kavya were at peace knowing that the ” arrangement ” was over-for life.

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The Appraisal – a short story

THE APPRAISAL DAY

Parvathi Shivakumaran finished her daily chores hurriedly and stepped out of the kitchen . She had difficulty getting up earlier this morning as the previous night was spent tossing and turning in the bed, her eyes were red due to incessant crying and the throat choked due to sniffling the whole night. Her husband who was sleeping next to her was totally oblivion to the fact that her world had been torn apart few moments after he went off to sleep. By the time she woke up in the morning,it was already 7 and  her husband had left for his morning walk  .

She took out the Corporate  saree from her cupboard and placed it gently on her bed to avoid spoiling the crease of  the dainty silk of her yellow kanjivaram saree with a beautiful maroon  border,a combination which enhanced the beauty of her amber skin.This was her favourite saree , a garment that she had worn on the 21st of April of every year for last 20 years.This was a gift from her husband on their first wedding anniversary and they had jokingly christened it as her corporate saree.

After a quick shower, Parvathi draped her  saree , placed the yellow sacred thread on her neck while caressing it slowly and absentmindedly as people would caress a loved one they have not met in years or someone they would be parting ways with very soon .She added vermilion on her large forehead and was ready to go. Before stepping out,she momentarily  paused to gaze at the reflection in the large mirror on the dresser and reminisce of last 20 years of her life played in a flashback in those microseconds .The mirror could sense certain amount of sadness in her large expressive eyes .One can lie to herself all her life but how does one lie to her own reflection,its an art Parvathi could never learn.

Even at the age of 45, she looked strikingly beautiful with flawless sin ,large kholed lined eyes ,elegant demeanor and high maturity level which reflected in her over all persona.People would often compliment her for her charismatic personality and admit how they are in awe of her .She seemed to rub her goodness on lives of all around her perhaps exception for her husband who had been too busy in his professional and social life to notice his wife’s vitues .Surprisingly,he managed to have enough time in hand to criticize her for innane things over the weekend.

Composing herself , she turned around and headed for her work table, picked up the letter she had received in the dak couple of days back but remembered to read only last night just before going off to sleep.She didn’t know the sender and that’s why it probably skipped her mind to give immediate attention to it.

She was now ready to countenance her annual appraisal for the year .

At sharp 9 am,she gently knocked at the dark mahogany  door of Sathish Prabhakaran’s office . Sathish was an MBA from a premier institute and Director HR,Asia for a  large infrastructure company with their headoffice in Bangalore where he lived in a plush penthouse with his wife.

“Come in please ” said the burly voice from inside.

“Good Morning Mr. Prabhakaran “Parvathi wished him since they were meeting for the first time this morning.

“Good Morning Ms. Shivakumaran,you  OK today ? “Sathish looked down from the glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose and gestured for her to sit on the chair across his table.”Allow me five more minutes to finish this mail and then I would join you “.

“Sure,would wait.”Parvathi responded…As always,she thought in her mind.

After 15 minutes,Sathish closed his laptop and turned his attention towards Parvathi.This is a ritual they have beenfollowing  since last twenty years and she knew by now what all  would be discussed.

“Ok, Ms. Shivakumaran,we would start with your appraisal now ” he took a pen and paper to take notes.

“The parameters would remain the same but I guess,with the HR evolving in the neon age, we should also improvise upon the the way we do appraisals.So this time, I have given weightage to various roles on a scale of 1-100 . Ok ?” Sathish said

Ok was Sathish’s favourite word, she knew this by heart by now.

“Alright “Parvathi responded.

Ok, the parameters :

WORK EFFICIENCY -Manageable – 70 on 100.Deducting 30 for occasional lethargy,too much internet chatting and spending time with unskilled staff and associates.Use brain more.

“Only some rare weekends and the days I am not well,and I dont chat on internet,I am part of some very thoughtful charities and do the kind of work you woudl never get a whiff about, we both know what a miser you are ” thought Parvathi.”Ok,next ” she said.

TIME MANAGEMENT : Good, can improve,watch less TV in your free time and use your time productively. You should do some intelligent stuff .  80 on 100,ok?.

Do you have enough time to observe ,e or spend with me to know what I do with my time .She thought but remained quiet but gave a cursory nod.

TEAM MANAGEMENT : Good. 80 on 100. 20 deducted for being soft on some unskilled, untrained workers.

“The fault is with us and not them,atleast they are not pretentious like you , they are genuine people who actually care and empathise with those in need ..Its a pity that you are the  HR head and not one of them ” she thought but remained mum.

PERSONAL GROOMING: Is fine .Can do less personal gossip though. 80 on 100.

COMMITMENT LEVELS: Hmm,good good,you are committed to those around you except for occassional sullen face and drabness that I dont comprehend.And I see that you have maintained your plush apartment flawlessly,sign of a good lady.I give you 80 on a 100 for that.

Did you have ever had time to find out  the reason for my miseries …she thought.

“Ok, now  is the time to announce the annual increment and guess what the LOYALTY BONUS this year is …..and it is….”

Parvathi interrupted and didn’t let him finish his sentence.”Wait a minute Sathish,you just said HR has evolved and we should use advanced parameters to judge performance….then why don’t we have a 360* appraisal today, I would like to give you feedback  on your performance of last 20 years .”

Sathish looked puzzled and a little amused by Parvathi’s declaration,she didn’t ask as she usually did but this time,there was assertiveness in her voice.

This was unusual and he would have refused on any other day but today was a holiday and he was in no rush,so he decided to play along. “Sure, lets swap places ”.

Sathish was in the firing line now and Parvathi in command.She started with her appraisal.

“ Sathish,  your performance appraisal would be seperate for the performance at Work and performance at Home,we would evaluated as Shatish- the professional and Shatish -the person.Ok?”She said.

A bemused Sathish nodded his head while trying to hide his crooked smile,Ah,this would be fun.My life has been flawless,and the scars of my life have been hidden by cosmetic surgery-thought He.

The Appraisal :

WORK :

WORK EFFICIENCY -Excellent – 95 on 100.Deducting 5 for occasional lapses but worked on most holidays and weekends as far as I can think.its been good for your career.Six promotions in last 20 years.

TIME MANAGEMENT :Excellent. Worked 16-18 hours some days. 14  on most. 100 on 100.

TEAM MANAGEMENT : Good. Very cordial relationship with the team.very helpful and caring for the staff.

PERSONAL GROOMING:Excellent.at 46,you look 38 !!

COMMITMENT LEVELS: Extremely high to work.100 on 100.Have won accolades and awards for being a leader in HR practices.

“You are an excellent professional Mr. Prabhakaran,congratulations to you for the same.NOW, lets take stock of your personal life”. Shatish could feel a hidden sarcasm in Parvathi’s voice but it was so unlike her and therefore,.he chose to ignore his doubt and continued with the game.

He was still bemused and was waiting for her  to finish before they both burst out laughing together for their annual fun event,something that they have not done  in a while since life had become so monotonous and boring together in last few years .

Today was their 20th marriage anniversary .Management college sweethearts and HR professional ,they started this routine on their first anniversary since  Parvathi had quit her job before the birth of their first born Karthik but missed her HR routines as she was an excellent professional and had a promising career ahead which she had let go since Sathish wanted her to concentrate completely on home and children. She spent the  last twenty years raising their sons,Karthik and Surya.Both the children were in United States  now for higher studies  and lived with Parvathi’s brother who was a senior research scientist at the Berckley University in California.

The annual appraisal was a private joke between them which Sathish started to give solace to the professional urge of Parvathi .The increment was increase in her kitchen expenses and loyalty bonus was the wedding anniversary gift that Sathish would bring her every year . Even through the failing marriage,this ritual seemed to stay though the gifts had become customary and money lost its importance to Parvathi many many years ago . It was as if this yearly ritual was the only connecting thread in their lives except for the yellow one she wore around her neck every morning.

Parvathi started the personal appraisal now….

WORK EFFICIENCY :: Worked on most holidays and weekends as far as I can think of . I have lost count of sleepless nights I have spent tendering sick kids along or long weekends at home,hoping that you would come by and we can go somewhere.Thanks to you, I could never have any friends or social life.The only company and supporters are my domestic staff and neighbours whom you abhor because of their supposedly low IQ levels.

TIME MANAGEMENT ::You would come tired home and I had to bear the brunt of your work related stress. Those endless shouting sessions and occasional physical abuse are still embarked as fresh scars on my bruised soul. I single handedly raised both the children without having  their father around and tried to do my best to fill in the void of a father in their lives .Now since they have grown up, expect them to give you the same love and affection they give me !!and when you dont get it,you blame me for turning the children away from you.

Sathish was grim and speechless. He was waiting for Parvathi to finish so that he could talk some sense into her.She looks very frustrated today.Maybe the empty nest syndrome or is she menopausing,mood swings …Ah help God ,these women!!

Parvathi continued :: TEAM MANAGEMENT, PERSONAL GROOMING and COMMITMENT LEVELS:: Very cordial relationship with the team.very helpful and caring for the staff.-”".Saying this ,she got up and threw the letter that she had carried with her on Sathish’s face.”Read this ,this,it would answer all these parameters,you are on a zero here”.

Sathish was startled but still quiet.He opened the letter and his face went ash white and he slouched down on the chair taking his head into his hands.with eyes shut tight,he didn’t know how to face his wife of 20 years after the revelation on his deeds the letters had made.

Oh,I thought she was a small fry,what could she do ruin for me,her threats to expose me sounded so harmless ,and once I got her thrown out of the organisation,she was so dejected that everyone premused she would have been lost in oblivion..oh,she has risen as a pheonix…I was so wrong, I should have trampled her completely all those  years back..Oh Oh,my career,oh these skeletons, they were hidden by cosmetic surgery,how could they surface,I was so sure they would never surface…and all those rodden women,how could they expose me…what would I do now.He mind was swiveling .

“You see ” Parvathi was really loud. “Anitha had the courage to expose you and your sexual exploits of interns over last so many years .She has contacted all of them and got them to file a case against you in court for sexual harassment at work. You  said she was characterless and that’s why you had fired her. Tell me Sathish, are all these 35 women who have signed on this affidavit stating how you exploit them while promising them promotions, transfers ,increments are  characterless. Is this court notice  attached with this letter marked to me not good enough to have you arrested,Anitha did good by exposing your real self to me……NOW, give me one reason Sathish ,why shouldn’t I quit from your lifelong job at this moment right here without giving any notice period”.

Sathish was tongue tight and didn’t know what to say.

“Fine, Ok, here it is ” Parvathi flung a sheet on paper on Sathish’s face ” I dismiss you from my life Sathish Prabhakaran ” saying this she moved towards the door slamming the door on Sathish’s face .

She had given vent to all the pent up unexpressed anguish of last 20 years in 20 minutes.She was feeling much lighter now and her head had cleared.She knew what she had to do with her life now.

And Sathish was left slouching on the chair with his head held between both the hands.

What could he do.The appraisal was over for now and for ever.

* The name of the characters, places, companies,situations mentioned here are purely fictional and are product of the writer’s agile mind. Any resemblance to people,place,situation is purely coincidental and unintentional.

Nine Lives

 

 

TODAY: 8 PM : ON THE TERRACE :

“It would serve him right “….thought Kruttika while doing the balancing act on the thin ledge on the terrace of her building.Kruttika -a dainty, sweet ,petite framed ,dark skinned,curly haired,highly creative and very emotional 31 year old single media professional – otherwise full of life Kruttika was all but herself today….. today, she was debating between life & death ,today she was not afraid of anything,not even of her phobia of heights,today she was swinging on both sides of the life, treading on the thin ledge on the parapet of the terrace …. Her mind were running frantically …..

TODAY:ON 28th FLOOR :8 PM :

In the apartment on 28th floor of the same building , Shubra was
yelling at Pratham,her husband of 3 years from the balcony where she was collecting dried laundry  “Damn it Pratham,you have still not taken  a shower, its  8 pm already .height of laziness …….come out ,your glass of milk is ready on the table, and I know you would shout in case it gets cold, God knows why you have to have milk at 8 every night, how peculiar is that habit..anyway.….don’t leave the balcony door open when you go to get your towel, the black cat’s been lurking around since yesterday and you know how I abhor cats…I hope Kruttika had shut the kitchen door when she left after taking sugar from there,Oh God,can you ever trust anyone  ”and her blabbering went on and on and on.

Pratham, ignoring his wife’s incessant talk, got into the shower and allowed his body to get drenched in the high power shower stream…….he was trying to think of a way to get rid of the mess he had got himself into.Shubra’s father is a highly influential man and that’s why he married his 21 year old spoilt daughter .A decision that he regretted every waking hour of his life but a decision that helped him climb up the corporate ladder and giving him the position that he- Oh -so cherished .Hmm,I think I can manage this mess,but how do I get rid of Kruttika,she was fun to have around but my career comes first….

While on the terrace, Kruttika’s mind was  in flashback .

 6 MONTHS BACK :

It was only a day since she had moved into this building, being on the top floor gave its own high to her creative mind. She’s been
claustrophobic since the childhood and allowing herself to live on the topmost floor was a challenge to herself, to overcome her fear of heights though she wouldn’t venture into the balcony very often,
heights still scared the hell out of her. And then she met Pratham in
the gallery of her floor, on her first day in the new home. He was her only neighbor as the other two flats on the floor were locked, owned by some NRI.

Hi, I am Kruttika Shah, I moved in here yesterday only”she smiled.

“Hi ,I am Pratham Sinha,I am Investment banker and I head the local division of  at Zes Bank .I also moved in here 6 months back “ He shook hands with her.

“So, you live with your family here?”Kruttika asked inquisitively.

“No, I live alone  and I am glad to have your company on this floor
…. earlier there were only ghosts lurking around on this
floor,scaring the hell out of me all the time“Pratham said smilingly.
They clicked from day one.Pratham was smart,witty ,though he seemed a little cunning but was a good company,he made her laugh like no one ever had. They would spend all their spare time together.
 

ONE WEEK BACK :

The reality stuck in last week when she rang his doorbell, hoping to
wish him a happy birthday .The door was opened by a young woman.

” Uh,hi, I am Kruttika,I have moved in the  flat across the gallery
very recently, and you are?”she asked. she was startled by seeing a
complete stranger there,Pratham was on a tour since last one week and she had thought of surprising him early morning.

“”I am Mrs. Sinha” …she was rude.”Do you have any work here “?

Kruttika was devastated and it took her a while to regain her poise
“Uh, actually, there’s no water in the bath and I wanted to check if
you have the same problem…”

“No,we are ok,please call the maintenance agency…”Shubra said and banged the door on Kruttika’s face.

She rushed back to her home and howled. Her world was crumbling and she didn’t know how to prevent it from being shattered.After three major heartbreaks and overcoming a long phase of depression , she was herself again with Pratham in her life. With a new city,new house and a new lover,she  thought she had found the certainty in life that she was looking for…she and Pratham were so happy together,so complete,they were of same age,had same taste in literature,plays,movies….No, she can not bear it, she can’t sail
through another heartbreak ..it would certainly kill her, was that a
bad dream,O Krishna,I hope it was a bad dream,this is not my destiny…..

She cried incessantly and when she was exhausted,she fell asleep …

There was a knock on the door in the evening.Kruttika opened the door and Pratham’s wife was standing there.

“Hi, my name is Shubra”she said sheepishly.”I am sorry I was rude to you this morning but you see ,I was away from Pratham for  a year and came here only last night hoping to surprise him on the eve of his birthday and he wasn’t there,and I couldnt get through his phone too………and then you came this morning, I was so upset and just took out all my frustration on you,sorry again”Shubra smiled childishly”I got to speak to him in the afternoon, he said he had been travelling for a week for business,God knows where is he travelling,can you ever trust men,and then he says I call him so much,what do I do otherwise,he’s my husband,I should know what is he up to … “.by the way,Pratham is my husband,you have not met him, have you?”she asked suspiciously.

No,I haven’t ,I moved in here last week only….”Kruttika lied. “Were you living somewhere else?”she asked Shubra.

“Yes, at my mother’s house …do you live here alone… ..”Shubra
asked,trying to gaze through the hallway to spot someone else in the flat.

“Yes, I live  here all on my own ”Kruttika replied.

After a brief silence, Shubra said “You know I was expecting a baby,but had a miscarriage and then doctor adviced me complete bed rest…Pratham came here to Bombay to head our bank’s branch but I stayed back for delivery, and then the miscarriage happened…..I wanted to be here with him but my parents wouldn’t let me go,I am the only daughter you see and they love me like crazy..but yesterday,I fought with them and got  the first plane from Calcutta last evening to be here “….…

“You said you live alone here….you don’t worry, I would be around to help you settle”Shubra said looking around.”Oh,but you look settled already, hmm,good – good”

Kruttika soon realized that Shubra suffers from severe mood swings and is obsessive about Pratham. They were becoming friends and Kruttika started visiting Pratham’s house again, but now, only on the pretext to meet Shubra briefly.She got to know how Pratham got his high flying job due to Shubra’s father and how she bought in loads of dowry with her . She was a a pampered child from a rich family and it showed in her behavior.

Pratham tried to explain things when he returned” I am sorry Katty
darling , wanted to tell you, but didn’t know how to…didn’t want to
lose you….I m sorry sweetheart,give me some time, I would set things right, trust me I never loved her,we would be together soon, I promise , I would leave her …”

She had never asked him if he was married, there was no sign in his
house to establish that and he never told her about his wife.O, why,
why he never told her,how naive was she to never probe him,ask him.

And what about all those passionate days and nights that they spent together in past 6 months, were they all meaningless??? his promises to stay with her forever,live and die together”what was all that….

She was losing her mind again…and today he gifted his wife a diamond necklace to profuse his love for her…

Bullshit, I know Pratham would never leave Shubra.She was his key to his GodDamn success.

TODAY:8.05 PM : ON THE TERRACE :

Huh..…It would serve him right …..she was thinking……twisting her
dupatta, chewing on her nails frantically…..she looked at her watch,it should happen anytime….

Then  she heard a sharp shriek from Pratham’s house…Shubra was shrieking….

Yes,said Kruttika  triumphantly,  it has happened,her plan had worked …..Chemist had said rats get killed within 5 minutes of taking this poison,Pratham’s habit proved to be  his nemesis,I would have him all to myself now…… thinking, she took the plunge from the terrace,her thoughts were floating,now, we would meet in the heaven Pratham…you would get to keep at least keep one promise that you made to me….Shubra can survive without you.

8:05 PM ON 28th FLOOR :

Pratham came running out of the shower.”Have you gone mad Shubra? Why are you shrieking like a crazy cow “? But he froze too. His daily glass of milk was tumbled by the black cat  and empty glass along with the cat lying  lifeless on the floor.

“THUMP”..there was a loud thumping noise from outside and both Shubra and Pratham ran towards the balcony. “Oh God,Someone had jumped from the terrace”Shubra shrieked.

They rushed out ,Shubra was very upset with the dead cat in the house and was adamant to return only once  house has been
sanitized and purified. On  ground floor, a crowd had formed around the body..people were whispering…..”Oh,poor girl, don’t know what troubled her,made her take such a drastic step….she had moved in here only 6 months back,not everyone knew her so well…ahm,may be Mr. Sinha would know, they were on the same floor ,anyone knows where her family is,call her office…….”

Hearing all the whispers and then looking at Kruttika’s body, Shubra fainted; Pratham didn’t know what to do. He bought her back to the flat and also got cat’s body removed from the house.

He shuddered with the thought”What if I had had that glass of milk ..5 minutes delay saved me,…but why ,why Kruttika would do this…It stuck to him  “she believed in Karma and life after death, she thought death can bring us together…Ah, ,what a fool was she …Thank God, I am alive,I can handle this and Shubra,convincing her would be like a piece of cake”.

Shubra was slowly gaining conscious and she woke up to see Pratham sitting beside her.

“Pratham “…. Shubra’s voice was cold and her eyes had hardened up,he had never seen her like this before.He shuddered looking at her and his face paled,he was shaking  ” No point in crying over the spilled milk now Pratham……a cat has nine lives…and she would return……nine times ….O Ma …..” Saying this ,she fainted again .

 Pratham was left shivering with the fear of ghosts of his past
lurking around  on the 28th floor of his building.He knew his life

would never be same again and these ghosts would follow him no matter which corner of the world he may move  into.

It Takes A Moment

It takes a moment to make life

it takes a moment to see light

it takes a moment to show love

it takes a moment to change world

 

A moment of anger and vengeance

snuffed out light from two angels

the hand that rocked the cradle 

splashed love with dose of venom 

it must be a moment that  changed

world of 4 lives and killed a  family…..

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/Delhi-Doc-mom-injects-twins-to-death/articleshow/4729288.cms